Barometer of Emotions

I like to think that I'm an even keeled kind of person -- someone who goes with the flow and takes things in stride. Lately though, specific things have been setting me off.

Below: some emotions...and their triggers...

Sadness
Thursday morning I dropped Carter off at school as usual. Some mornings are busier (with other students around) than others. On this particular day there was another boy arriving with his mom right when Carter and I arrived. I said goodbye to Carter, but he wasn't paying attention so his therapist told him to, 'say goodbye to mom'. The other boy thought she was talking to him and without hesitation he called out, 'Goodbye, Mom'.

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Carter doesn't actually say goodbye. Instead he waves. Usually I'm good with that, but that particular morning, hearing the other boy put voice to something so simple, something my boy won't likely ever say to me...well, it got to me...and my reaction caught me off guard. My eyelids felt all pin prickly and that sensation spread quickly to the back of my throat where a small knot formed and took up residence until I was back in my car and moving on with my day. Sadness.

Rage
We are still without Carter's talker . At least 3 weeks have passed since we were told it needed to be shipped to the U.S. to be fixed. When I got in touch with the U.S. manufacturer to follow up on things -- as in, what exactly is wrong with the device and when will we be getting it back -- the response I received infuriated me.

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The e-mail from a technician indicated that they had not yet received Carter's device. That's right...you read correctly! It's been three weeks since I was told that the device needed to be shipped to the U.S. to be fixed and it has not even arrived there yet.

The e-mail went on to tell me that the order was dated May 2, 2012.

You're telling me it wasn't even shipped until May 2nd? Where has it been all this time? Sitting on a shelf? This is not just some toy or computer used for pleasure! This is a child's voice we're talking about!

You can imagine my rage. And if you can't, here's a suggestion: try duct taping your mouth shut for a day (never mind three weeks to a month) and see how that helps bring some clarity to our situation.

I was so distraught I promptly clicked my mouse to forward a ranting, raging e-mail to my husband to share with him the update I'd just received. Rage.

Awkward and apologetic
Apparently in my rage (they say it can be blinding) I actually hit the reply arrow instead of the forward arrow and my ranting, raging message was sent to the technician at the company, not to my DH (darling husband).

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I won't lie. It wasn't pretty. There were choice words used and I'm not proud (actually feeling somewhat embarrassed) that they were sent to some poor technician that probably didn't know what hit him. But, the customer service we've received thus far is inexcusable -- which I explained in my follow-up apology e-mail to said technician. Awkward and apologetic.

Content and appreciated
Now we are starting a new week and the first day of that week is Mother's day. I am feeling that being a mother is no picnic. But, I am also feeling appreciated and I am feeling loved. Content and appreciated.

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I wonder what readings will show up on the barometer of emotions this week.

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